I never knew what to do with these feelings

I never really found it appropriate to say I'm not ok when someone asks how are you.

I didn't want it to turn out like this, i didn't think it would. I want to talk to you like normal but it'll only make things worse, i hope you know that. You'll be fine.

It's only been four days, huh.

It saddens me to see people "choosing" what matters and what's not especially when it comes to people around them. It's like everytime you see each other you get reevaluated and if by any chance you screwed it up the odds of him/her wanting to spend time with you again drops drastically.  I hate that.

I myself don't even have people that want to talk to me to the extend they initiate a conversation. 

"You don't even bother"

If you already think like that I might as well fuck it.

So relieved, yet so hurtful.

You know when you liked someone for awhile and you started to realize things don't work out between you two despite trying so hard, then you eventually try your best to let go of that person, and let the feelings fade. But, no matter how long it takes, there is still this tiny part that won't go away, and it sparks up at the smallest things like her laughing at your jokes,

That part just died inside of me today,

and it hurts so bad.

I'm so glad you finally found your guy :)

Hey hey heyy, it's been almost a month! How're you doing?

Not good.