I never knew what to do with these feelings

I never really found it appropriate to say I'm not ok when someone asks how are you.

I didn't want it to turn out like this, i didn't think it would. I want to talk to you like normal but it'll only make things worse, i hope you know that. You'll be fine.

It's only been four days, huh.

It saddens me to see people "choosing" what matters and what's not especially when it comes to people around them. It's like everytime you see each other you get reevaluated and if by any chance you screwed it up the odds of him/her wanting to spend time with you again drops drastically.  I hate that.

I myself don't even have people that want to talk to me to the extend they initiate a conversation. 

"You don't even bother"

If you already think like that I might as well fuck it.

So relieved, yet so hurtful.

You know when you liked someone for awhile and you started to realize things don't work out between you two despite trying so hard, then you eventually try your best to let go of that person, and let the feelings fade. But, no matter how long it takes, there is still this tiny part that won't go away, and it sparks up at the smallest things like her laughing at your jokes,

That part just died inside of me today,

and it hurts so bad.

I'm so glad you finally found your guy :)

Hey hey heyy, it's been almost a month! How're you doing?

Not good.

Sigh of relief

And so, I confessed to a girl who I liked for some time already, and it didn't turn out so well.

However, we're still talking as if nothing happened, but inside we both know that it happened and I'm glad that it didn't take this away. Actually, it feels really normal, maybe I've held it in for a little too long? :)

I don't know..

Hope went up skyhigh, then came crashing down. What goes up, must come down. I guess it was all in my head from the moment it began.

Lost?

I need guidance. Till then, i shall wander.

Complete your life.

He was just about to leave when he saw a tiny, shimmering light. One that he had never seen before. So unique, so special, out of curiosity he offered his hand to this unknown phenomenal light. It start to move. It gave him hope. Leading him out of the darkness of despair, he gave it all to obtain this light of hope. Unknowingly, he wandered into an empty room. This room divereted his attention away from that light. he looked around, his face filled with curiosity. There was no door, just an empty space with no walls. He walked in one direction, hoping to bump into a wall, an ending. But there was none.

Hope seemed to be gone once again. He sat down. He looked around in every direction he could. There was none to be seen. He felt so empty, so.. lonely. Tears began to roll down his cheeks. Images started to appear around him. Images of pain, suffering, all the misery he went through. It made him upset, and went into a rage. He wanted it to stop, shouting and yelling words that no one seemed to care about. He tried to run, but his legs were out of strength. He barely had any strength anymore to fight back. He fell upon his knees, giving up every single shattered pieces of little hope he held.

Just when he thought everything was done for, he felt warmth. He opened his eyes. There were images of happiness. All the good, the kind deeds that he had done, and what others had done to him. He saw the faces of the people he loved, the people who loved him, care for him. He reached out his hands, hope that he could touch them. He wanted to be heard. These are the people who gave him joy, a reason to live, a place where he belongs. At that moment, he realized it's not worth giving it all up. It is not worth to die for, because other than himself, nothing and no one can take away his happiness. He wanted to live. To enjoy life to it's fullest.

He opened his eyes once more. Right before his eyes appeared the world that he used to despise so much, became a world that he loved so much. He took a step backwards, leaving the edge of the bridge, one that he intended to jump, a suicidal attempt. What it may have seemed was just a small little step he took, but it meant a whole lot more to him.

Disappointed.

It would be so great if someone can give me back all the hope i used to have, and prove that once and for all, that what i had just given up means so much.

One we hold dear.

In all honesty, is there anyone who can live without friends? Friends are the people who surround you most of the time. They can be also described as the foundation of a certain person. The relation that we all share between our friends can bring a great amount of joy and hope in our lives. Based on that person's personality, friends can be easily made and vice versa. We come across many new faces everyday. New people that has a possibility to be your friend, ranging from that moment itself or through a friend of yours. However, what are the odds that you'll find a perfect friend?

A perfect friend can be categorized into few simple characteristics that they hold. Caring, understanding are two of the most valuable characteristics that a friend must hold. Without this particular aspect, friends might as well be considered strangers. A friend who cares and understands you are the jewels of life. They don't come often. When you are down with the blues and they know it, instead of having the usual fun which seems to be a better choice for everyone, they would rather give in to comfort and make us feel better. The perfect friend care and understands our feelings, and does it from the bottom of their heart, not for the sake of something else.

A perfect friend knows how to express their care and concern. What is the use of someone who tells you that they will be there for you through bad and good times when not a slightest sight of the person is to be spotted when you are in need of them? They understand just how much they mean to us. Most people abuse that factor and take these people for granted. So, it is definitely safe to say that a perfect friend of yours will never be one of them.

A perfect friend is someone you can trust, no matter what the situation. When you entrust them with something important, then you shall be at ease. People who are covered with lies and deceptions who abuse this bond of trust are not worthy to be called friends, what more if that person denies the action that they have committed, a fait accompli. A perfect friend is that of someone who are strongly not involved in the situation given above. Trust takes a lifetime to build, but yet just an instant to break it all apart.

Before i move on, I want to clarify that it is selfish of us to only think of someone else to be the perfect friend for ourselves. We are not excluded for being who we are to them as well. Therefore, instead of gaining all the benefits from the perfect friend we all hope for, we should never compromise their happiness for our own selfish needs. Having the perfect friend, makes you a very good friend as well. Because we have to understand and vow to never take their sincerity for granted. So, this can be proven as a mutual bond that two friends have for each other. We have to be a perfect friend in order to find a perfect friend.

Although the perfect friend are widely known to be labelled as impossible, too good to be true, imaginery, I believe that one day, it is possible to meet someone who does understand how we feel. And the last thing i hope is that i can make them feel just as good as they make me feel. Finally, we will all grow old together, reminising the good times we had, with not a sign of regret on our faces.

Why bother.

And there goes another period where i leave my blog for a while.

It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone, when your heart still does.

Kinda happy that i didn't throw away this blog. Knowing that no one reads it anymore, it's like a place where i can speak out without caring about anything, things that i don't want people to know, but yet i still have to let it out. Doesn't matter if anyone read it or not, it gives me the feeling of "finally, the feeling's off my chest", and i'm satisfied with that. :)

Love is all around.

I just spent 4 hours browsing through Flickr.

I must say, it was awesome seeing bit by bits of wonders of life, taken by professional hands. :)


Would be so awesome if I could actually went there and see it with my very own eyes. Travel around the world, anyone?

Good blogs never gets old.

So I hope mine's a good one.

It's been forever since I post an entry, so I kinda forgot what normal people do write on their blogs. It feels weird. Usually if i had anything to say, I immediately posted it out on this lovely little blog. Now I just keep it within my heart, or it just gets forgotten.

I'll continue this another day. I have to go now.

Teaser.

Ahh, it's been some time since i touched this. :P

And now, goodbye. LOL

Thailand Trip #1

It’s gonna be a long post :o i also quite lazy.. XD

So we woke up at 8am, and left at 10am. The driving was veeeery long, and my camera battery was dead, so no pictures :D Everyone thought Yishan would sleep in the car during the journey but NO, he was freaking hyperactive and jump here jump there. HE TALKS SOOOOO MUCH!

Yishan : Daddy look look! The lorry got alot of wheels orh? ORH?! ORH?!

*Daddy keeps quiet*

Yishan : You say yes daddy, say yes daddy..

*Daddy still keeps quiet*

*Yishan goes to another person*

Yishan : Daddy never talk to me orh..

*Sister keeps quiet*

Yishan : You say yes che che…

Kaili : Yess…

Imagine that during the whole journey, wow!

Then we reached Butterworth, Penang few hours later to stop by and visit my Po Po :) Gong Hei Fat Choi, got angpaos ehehe. We play talk play talk at her house, then we left for my auntie’s place to stay over :) Then here comes the camera!

 

Tsk tsk, young boy camwhore. After that we got ourselves ready and went for dinner :D Sek fan Sek fan, gaotim! Then we went to our auntie’s furniture shop for a while, then some people came :D

There this small boy, sat at the bicycle, stared into blank space for quite some time..

5 MINUTES LATER…

So cool ahahah. Then something happened..

View Full Album

Lazy 1 by 1 upload wahaha..

After sitting around watching young kids running all around, we went back to our auntie’s place. Counted my angpao. HEHE.

THE NEXT DAY.

Say hello to our country’s biggest rice source – Dataran Kedah.

The place where Abdullah Badawi is from :o Then for the next 50km is the same view lol.

Want proof of Yishan hyperactiveness..?

After a while my brother play my dad’s GPS phone :) It’s so damn cool lah. Can see you’re moving at what speed, how long does it take to reach the destination and how far is the distance. :D

Then out of no where…

 

My sister camwhored. =.=

After doing some insurance thingy, we reached the border of Thailand and Malaysia. :D FREAKING JAM!! Only moved 20-30 meter in 2 hours. Then my dad gave us our spending money…  >D >D >D

Its shopping spree time.

Then we got bored, so my sister said who could do the funniest face.

Contestant #1

Yip Kaishan

 

Contestant #2

Yip Kailiang

Contestant #3

Yip Kaili

Kesian her boyfriend..

You know, Malaysian border.. instead of using ‘Selamat Tinggal’ , we used ‘Bon Voyage’… ??? … Why??

:S :S :S

Then finally we went through all the process and whooh, it was soo crowded with people. Yishan couldn’t bear to watch.

After the border, we went to find a place to eat. Thailand food wasn’t that great, but it was okay..

Then, we headed off to Hat Yai!! And this time, FINALLY, Yishan falls asleep.

Then there was this smelly truck that kept overtaking us whenever we overtake it, and shit weih, the stuff its carrying doesn’t smell very nice..

We’ll continue this the next time, and for now..

It’s a condom factory :D